If "exciting" means northern git-rock played by ugly students with wah-wah pedals, it's news to me.If Primal Scream actually followed through with their promise to "Kill all Hippies" (bizarre suicide note that it was), The Music would be first for the chop. Sadly, Bobby Gillespie is all mouth, and that's about as likely as the Scream releasing "Bomb the Pentagon" as their next single.The Music are four scruffy indie kids from Leeds who've overdosed on The Stone Roses (one song lifts its intro wholesale from "Made of Stone"), and whose much-vaunted "attitude" consists of saying things in interviews like "It's not that we hate Starsailor, we just don't like that sort of music" and (I hope you're sitting down) "We don't dislike them personally, and if people like it, fair enough."Tonight, the three junior musos widdle through all the worst bits of The Second Coming while singer Robert Harvey stands side-on to the audience, wigging out in a world of his own like he's in a rehearsal room.The Music have one song that may fill the odd provincial indie dancefloor. It's the new single, and it's called – coming from almost anyone else, this would be a great, great song title – "You Might As Well Try To Fuck Me". Thanks for the offer, but I'm washing my hair.s.price independent.co.ukThe Charlatans tour with Starsailor: SECC, Glasgow (0870 040 4000), 13 Dec; MEN Arena, Manchester (0161 930 8000), 14 Dec; Wembley Arena, London (020 8902 0902), 15 Dec.

The guide on how to read David Lynch's Mulholland Dr comes at the start of the film. When you hear people talking, they'll call the picture Mulholland Drive. You'll see that in print, the way we refer to Billy Wilder's classic from 1950 as Sunset Boulevard But Lynch leaves no room for doubt. The camera closes in on the street sign, one of those Los Angeleno pressed-tin jobs, that reads Mulholland Dr. And while it's not my place to remark on the film – beyond calling it a work of genius – this is a movie to be experienced as both a drive and a dream. Whether or not you can go the whole way with Mulholland Dr depends on how you feel being dr'd or dr'n.

The guide on how to read David Lynch's Mulholland Dr comes at the start of the film. When you hear people talking, they'll call the picture Mulholland Drive. You'll see that in print, the way we refer to Billy Wilder's classic from 1950 as Sunset Boulevard But Lynch leaves no room for doubt. The camera closes in on the street sign, one of those Los Angeleno pressed-tin jobs, that reads Mulholland Dr. And while it's not my place to remark on the film – beyond calling it a work of genius – this is a movie to be experienced as both a drive and a dream. Whether or not you can go the whole way with Mulholland Dr depends on how you feel being dr'd or dr'n. Years ago, it was actually Sunset Blvd – and you could make a case for that film being "Sunset, Beloved". But is the fond farewell waved to Joe Gillis, to an era of Hollywood splendour, or to the movies as a whole?What makes Los Angeles a treasury for semiologists is that nearly everything has its sign – and often the sign becomes the thing itself.